"be patient. everything happens for a reason."
i look
out of my window to the sight of the high walls and barbed fences. i
look further ahead, i see a playground - children running about, on
swings soaking in the sunshine from a nice spring day. without a care in
the world. what a marked contrast from the souls living at this place -
sad faces, frowns, all bogged down wif the weight of things. happiness
around here is really just a myth. that is for many, at least!
konjit
is once again blasting her music from 3 doors away. i time and time
again wonder if it would be better to be her - to be so free, blissfully
unaware of her surroundings and happily oblivious to life, reality and
the pains of it. yes, she is one of the few exceptions to that myth.
humans.... sigh....
i
want to say i miss being young again, like one of them kids outside but
then on second thoughts, that would mean i'd have to go thru the whole
process of life and the inevitable pains of growing up - i changed my
mind.
i dreamt of being home and waking up on my own bed for the umpteenth time last night. if only....
i
wonder, how do you correct a wholly dysfunctional being? they say it
takes 21 days to give up a habit? complete bollocks! i feel more trapped
than ever. if i am a boat, there are a dozen of oars all pushing and
pulling in different directions. if only they would give it a rest.
if
only it was s.2. i would be out already by today. i wonder, how much
longer would it take? no one can offer promises around here. i feel
wasted.
"i never meant to let you down. forgive me if i slipped away."
dear God, please, i am getting so so desperate.
