i initially felt rather lost. my routine for the last 35 days. i miss bumping into them while walking down the corridors. peeping into their rooms to say hi whenever i walk pass to get to the dining area to the water dispenser. hearing the panic alarm going off every half hour or so. then the presence of the nurses who would peep into the small window at the door of my room every 15 mins.
that will be an experience which i will always remember.
i understand what some of them mean when they say it's like family there. for a moment, i find myself agreeing to that. there is smth about that place which makes you feel so secured, protected and cared for.
but on second thoughts, i realized that i have no valid reasons to be there. for a lot of them, the ward are the only people they have. but i am privileged to have a family. i have amazing friends. and the outside world is where i rightfully belong.
now i am officially out on my own. it will be a struggle and i will miss it, but only for a very short while. because i have a life waiting for me to settle back in outside those high walls and barbed fences. i still am on my mission to chase dreams and am not willing to give in and bow to the circumstances. 21 years, i am better than that! but if it is God's decision that i am not meant to complete the BVC, i will accept it and move on. i am not the course as whether or not i finish, that does not define me as a person.
the third and the absolute final time. the only difference is, right now i am finally ready! =)
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